Sunday, March 16, 2014


Infamous, claim to fame, that guy.

Any title, any cringe, any brag point, call it what you will.  I will proudly say, "I am that guy..."  okay I don't want to go that far.  In and around the office one can lay low and never be known by something other then a guy who comes faithfully to work, be know for keeping things light hearted, taking on projects, or even be the guy that folks cringe for one reason or another.  We are all known for something even if it is nothing.

I can faithfully say I've become known for a waffying smell that permeates the office every lunch since last June of '13.  A waffying smell that is undeniable.  I will lay claim to the guy who pops microwave popcorn.  I even have my own secret I am sharing with you.

Hover around the microwave, listen for the slowing of the pops, and never let the time exceed 3 minutes.

No, that's only a small portion of the secret.  The rest is on the pictured bag.  Now, I do recognize that LifeHacker does list brown paper bags as one thing never to microwave for they may contain any number of additives in the proccessing that make it unhealthy for you.  As a side note that article just appeared in the last week or so.  Please use your own descression.

In near 200 bags, I've only brought one to the point of self ignition.  I mindlessly for got that the microwave I was using is the one that doesn't enjoyably pop favorably.  I kept hitting add 30 seconds until 4 minutes passed and smoke more then waffed into thy face upon entry into that cooking chamber.  I immediately brought the contents to the sink and did not cease to flood the now chemically enhanced contents with dihydrogenoxide in liquid form until no more.

I do beg the pardon, even of today, of those who lively put up with breakroom activities near their positions of diligence.  I do say though of all the bags popped, I've only brought one to the point where the nose cring of awfullness.  Most the time, 'tis the smell that awakens the desire to consume sustinence or make a stretch at mid day.

Now there are to many to list here in honor so for the noted: Dale, Dell, JamieLynn, Tom, the late Jim T, Nelly, Joel, Sussie, and most notably of all who posted the sign that began it all Carolee.  Thank you.

Now to whom shall the torch be passed? Who desires to consumate the starting of training on how to master the microwave? To whom shall pick up the mantel of desireous senses to announce mid day provissions are needed?

Now, to my friends, never fear, the pop is making way to the trail.  I've taken to mastering it in a kettle the size of your desktop beverage container.  A little oil, a little heat, and carefull attention to the sizzel over open flame.  A simple amount not to lift of the top and so goes the announcement of dessert to share.  Please let me shake a little into an open hand or container.

Snack healthy and hike on...

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