Sunday, January 29, 2006



Spoken or unspoken are everywhere. Every aspect of my life has 'em.
a good definition of 'rules' I learned [not in the exact wording] is 4 parted

  • recognizable
  • expressable
  • challenagble
  • consequential

Draining on the evening [at church] I knew the road home would be bad, yet I'd committed to someone that I'd take her home. The problem is she lives 10 miles the exact oppisite of where I do, so I'd drive an extra 20 miles before beginning my 25 mile trek home. Glancing outside, a spit of snow hitting the valley, I could see it socked in up the canyon leading to PC. I began to ask around, 'can you take so&so home?' no came around so many times I felt more trapped then those spun out on I-80. One reply came across as an insult, "You shouldn't take her home anyways, it's a bad idea - you know." Ah **** I hit the RUCKING NO DATING RULE of this church. A rule which can be expressed this way

  1. no one on one until acknowledged by leadership
  2. see #1
  3. you may challenge #1
  4. others will say things to you or behind you back

I let it alone. I just didn't want to take her home. I saw no reason to challenge this unspoken leader in the church. 1) she isn't on staff 2) she may be very active & have much referent power given by others - only because she's around & 3) I've been head to head with her on other issues, it ain't worth my breath [so I'll vent on-line]. I have ZERO interest in the one I would take home. She wouldn't have asked for the ride unless we were friends anyways. I know to much about her past to want to bring that into a relationship. I found her. I asked for her to find another route home. I grabed another cup of coffee. I'd need it on the way up.

I have my own rules.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Stepping Out

Stepping out into the dark cold of the early morning bound for shift work, I pull down my hoodie, steel toe boots scrape along. I feel and look like I should be a rapper in the hood. Instead I try not to slip on the iced parking lot of my low rent condo in Park City. I prefer country over rock, rock over rap, rap over hip-hop, while blues and jazz rule the heap of my musical preferences. Today, however, like everyday, my ears will be filled with machinery running, buzzers, and rock blairing from a co-worker's radio. I don't mind it. The music cuts the noise while passing time faster. I make a living with day labor. My dream job (today) would be as a photog on a mission - much like what Scott Harrison does with Mercy Ships. That would be my dream again. Today, however, I pull off my steel toes for the day, lay the hoodie over a chair, and look at what I can do to promote the little photog I do.